The Joys And Loneliness Of Being A Stay At Home Dad

I thought I’d take another break from politics to muse a bit about my current position. I have reflected on the changes in my life before on the blog.

I want to stay by saying, it’s been a great joy to be have the luxury to stay at home 4 days a week and take care of my daughter. My daycare is great don’t get me wrong. I bet if I asked they’d count every individual cheerio she eats. But when we were going through some weird digestive issues (that I’ll skip describing out of decorum) it was nice to be able to see how each change and adjustment we made was working or not.

Beyond that there’s nothing better in my mind than being the person who contributes directly to the stages of development of your child, giving them those little quirks you already have. Starting their love for certain kinds of music early, etc.

But being a stay at home dad is also a sort of awkward place to be too. Taking care of a bay or toddler can be a thoroughly mind-numbing thing. Let’s face it, my daughter may be cute and fun, but as far as “good conversation” she can’t cut it yet. Throughout the years tons and tons of support mechanism and social groups have been built up to help mom’s deal with the monotony, but as a dude I’d be 100% out of place there.

As it is, when I take my daughter to kid centric places like our town’s children’s museum I get the odd stares from the mommy guild and the occasional “giving your wife a break today?” comment. Perhaps most humorously was when I was out to lunch with a friend who gets every other Friday off and the server assumed we were a gay couple. (We were at the ballpark village, and I mentioned I had just gotten tickets to take my daughter to the game and the server said “oh you two are taking her to a game together how cute.” I replied “my wife and I are taking her to a game together, my friend here and I are having lunch today.”)

Despite constant stories about the rise of the stay at home dad, there’s still something not quite accepted about it. (My wife visits a blog for women professionals where they call them “SAHD” pronounced, and I shit you not “sad.” FFS, these are people who should be most appreciative of what we do.)

Thank heavens for the internet, where during nap time I can go out and…ok there’s no intelligent conversation there either, but at least I can distract myself.


3 comments to “The Joys And Loneliness Of Being A Stay At Home Dad”
  1. The women at the children’s museum were hitting on you, hence the “giving the wife a break today” probing. Cute kids are chick magnets as you know. I think the part where you say somebody thought you and your buddy were a couple will throw the wife off enough that she will not suspect what you and your buddy were really up to if she reads your post. Well played, but try not to let other wives/mothers in on this well kept secret. You’ve almost said too much already. Don’t blow it!

  2. I don’t get hit on…well ever, but I’m intelligent enough to tell the difference between mocking derision and hitting on someone.

    I’m not gonna touch the other half of that.

  3. Next column should be all about the stupid human tricks you taught her. I taught the eldest “What does James Brown say?”
    Her response, “Ohhhh I feel good.”

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