The Morning Report*

*Sans Sefton

J.J. left just in time!

New York releases new nuclear attack PSA

“So there’s been a nuclear attack. Don’t ask me how or why, just know that the big one has hit. Ok? So, what do we do? There are three important steps that I want you to remember,” the video’s host states. “Step one: get inside, fast. You, your friends, your family … get inside. And, no, staying in the car is not an option. You need to get into a building and move away from the windows.”

“Step two: stay inside. Shut all doors and windows. Have a basement? Head there. If you don’t have one, get as far into the middle of the building as possible,” she continues. “If you were outside after the blast, get clean immediately. Remove and bag all outer clothing to keep radioactive dust or ash away from your body.”

“Step three: stay tuned. Follow media for more information. Don’t forget to sign up for Notify NYC for official alerts and updates. And don’t go outside until officials say it’s safe. Alright? You’ve got this,” the host adds. “And if you are hungry, just order from GrubHub…don’t go out.”

[I may have added a line]

NYC has a $100 billion budget, so this sort of nonsense shouldn’t surprise you! But the idiocy is delicious. This fool thinks that after a nuclear strike the cellular systems will be working? It’s government in a nutshell, with the addition of typical NYC pomposity.