Good morning kids. Were it not so utterly tragic, I’d be laughing my ass off instead of retching my guts up. For just over two years, we’ve endured the abject disaster of an economy induced into near total free-fall, the nightmare of rushing headlong to touch of World War 3, the confirmation that the origins…
Author: J.J. Sefton
The Morning Report 3/17/23
Good morning kids. Yet another one of those completely unsurprising, yet thoroughly enraging revelations comes as Rep. James Comer’s – not ever to be confused with James Comey – committee confirms that the phrase “Biden Crime Family” is indeed both figurative and literal. Style points to author Kevin Downey Jr. for mentioning Kamala Harris and the…
The Morning Report 3/16/23
Good morning, kids. So, Greta Thunberg, aka Scoldilocks, the moderately-retarded troll whom the Left uses as shield and cudgel to make you submit to the climate change myth has reportedly deleted a tweet from five years ago claiming, and I quote: “A top climate scientist is warning that climate change will wipe out all of…
The Morning Report 3/15/23
Good morning, kids. Fittingly, it’s the Ides of March, so let’s play “One of These Things Is Not Like the Other,” shall we? Okay. 1 – “Geronimo!”2 – “Oorah!”3 – “Huzzah!”3 – “Banzai!”5 – “We made our point and Donald Trump has asked for everybody to go home. So what are we going to do?…
The Morning Report 3/14/23
Good morning, kids. Somehow, it got lost in the sauce yesterday that along with the collapse of SVB, an institution known as Signature Bank also laid an egg. And it wasn’t golden, either. While it’s no laughing matter, at least one person might be having a mild chuckle at this: Word that the New York state…
The Morning Report 3/13/23
Good morning, kids. With everything going on in the world, whoever had a nationwide run on the banks on their scorecard for today, you just won a 1978 Chrysler Cordoba! Go pick up the keys in Morty’s office. Silicon Valley venture capitalists are screaming for a bail out in response to the recent sudden collapse of…
The Morning Report 3/10/23
Good morning, kids. See if you can find a common thread in these different stories. First, we take you to the hallowed halls of American alma mater circa 2023: UB’s Young Americans for Freedom (YAF) chapter hosted former Republican Florida Rep. Allen West to speak on campus during the spring 2022 semester, after which three group…
The Morning Report 3/9/23
Good morning, kids. I remember once seeing a goofy bumper sticker which read: “My Karma Ran Over Your Dogma.” With that in mind, I give you what is probably the feel good story of the day: [Senate Minority Leader Mitch] McConnell spokesman Doug Andres gave a brief statement to the media, “This evening, Leader McConnell…
The Morning Report 3/8/23
Good morning, kids. Two quotes are quite cromulent this morning: “You take the most flak when you’re directly over the target.” “The way you solve things is by making it politically profitable for the wrong people to do the right thing.” Of course I am referring to Kevin McCarthy’s release of something like 40,000 hours…
The Morning Report 3/7/23
Good morning, kids. Here’s a hypothetical to ponder; If, when confronted by evidence of something that if not incontrovertible and 99 44/100ths percent irrefutable is at the very least strong enough to convince you to take said evidence into account and perhaps reconsider a deeply held position or belief, you would. The question is, what…









